7.22.2008

Jayden

First of all, Happy Birthday Mom!

Next, Richard and I went and saw the new Batman movie last week. A well-thought out movie. Really good. I highly recommend it. 

This picture is for the baby lovers. I love it when this boy just falls asleep! He's been fighting naps very well this week, and gets very whiny. I think he gets the whining after me--definitely not the 'fighting the naps' part though.

Our little guy just turned 5 months old. Most of the time I think to myself, "5 Months! You're growing so fast! Where is time going?" However, on this 5 month birthday I felt a little different. "Only 5 months old?"

In such a small amount of time, I feel such a connection to Michael. I am with him everyday. I feed him. I hold him. I comfort him. I play with him. I change him. I bathe him. I clothe him. 

Continually, I have been able to see his great, yet seemingly simple developments. I rejoice over the moments when he smiles, and laughs. I was so excited when he began to grab at toys, respond to the books that I read to him, and rolling over! 

Specifically, on this particular 5 month birthday I reflected on baby Jayden.  Jayden's mom, Amy, was my piano teacher as a youth, and my neighbor. I remember when Amy announced that she was going to have a baby girl, and she was planning on naming her Jayden. I thought it was the cutest name. At piano lessons, if I did well I would get to choose a sticker to put on my folder. So each week, I would choose an alphabet sticker, and eventually spelled out 
J-A-Y-D-E-N. 

I remember going over to see her after she was born, and playing with her as she was growing. I remember one specific babysitting moment when Jayden was crying a lot and I couldn't calm her down. I held her. I rocked her. I tried to feed her a bottle that I wasn't quite sure if I had prepared correctly. To me the situation was stressful!
Crying baby=Horrible babysitter! (Little did I know then, huh?) 

One day, I came home from school for lunch, surprised when my mom asked me if I would stay home for the rest of the day and watch my younger brother, Philip. She called me later from the hospital where she was with Amy and her family. I was devastated, and very shocked when she told me they were there for Jayden. This was the first time I had heard of SIDS. (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). 

Jayden was only 7 months old.

I was watching Michael sleep as I reflected on this moment. I feel grateful for everyday that he wakes up. I feel an overwhelming amount of love for him. I also had a deeper understanding and empathy for the pain and sorrow Amy must have felt on that tragic day. 

If I could feel this way towards Michael in just a mere 5 months, how many more feelings could just 2 months add?  Jayden wasn't just a small baby whom Amy didn't get to know and watch grow up. She knew her baby and she loved her baby, just like I love mine. 

 


5 comments:

MidSpeck said...

That is a sad post, but thought provoking. It makes me wonder why bad things happen to good people. I think you really put in perspective how devastated a parent in that situation must feel.

The Wendler Family said...

Oh, so sad... Isn't it such a gift? Every day we get to love, hold, and care for our child/ren? It overwhelms me some times how much our Father in Heaven loves us to trust and let us parent His spirit children. All I've ever wanted was to be a mother and I get to be that every day for the rest of forever... It is truely a blessing! I love that you love being a mother so much. It makes me happy to know that other women love it as much as I do. Michael is lucky to have such a great mother who loves him so much!!
Ps, love the sleepy picture. :)

Trent said...

Hey,
That sucks. Makes you think though. I know that micheal has a fantastic mother that loves him. I just can't wait for me and becca to have kids.

ps thanks for the cookies

Rick...the meek and mild said...

This is a special post to me. Thanks. Jayden is my granddaughter. Amy is my daughter. Many times I have reflected on why she was taken away from us and left with such a void in our hearts. The pain has subsided much and many more blessings have come into our lives. If for nothing else, the passing of Jayden has made all in our family more grateful for each day we spend with each other.
In the case with your post here Diana, it gives us added comfort in knowing her passing helps others realize the same blessing that each added day with a loved one brings....Thank you for remembering Amy and Jayden

Amy said...

It's your long lost piano teacher, neighbor and friend!! My dad told me about your post. I thought I would check it out.

My heart is full of happiness!! Happiness for many things. It is so good to see and hear from you. Your baby is so beautiful and what an incredible mother you are! It is hard to believe you are grown up... that you are married.... AND you are a mother! What an incredible life you have made for yourself... it makes me so happy!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Jayden. I miss her terribly and think of her all the time still. I remember you and your family and the impact you had in my life at that hard time. I wanted to Thank you!! It is amazing the emotions I still feel and the people who touched my life back then. I still remember your mom being there for me at the hospital. I remember seeing her walk across the street to see what was going on when the ambulance came. I remember the concern and love she had for me, Jayden, and my family. I remember you all being there for us in our time of need. What a true blessing that was, and what a lasting impression it has left in my heart. Thank you!

Lastly, I hope you don't mind, but I would like to keep your blog on my blog list. I want to see your family grow up and keep in touch!

Thank you for the post. Your words are very inspiring and a reminder of how precious life is!