I have just worked 4 straight full days. 2 night shifts, and two day shifts. I am looking forward to a great paycheck. But, not only that, I have just enjoyed the majority of the time working. Some customers are out of control, but some are just so awesome. And, I just like being a nice person--or do I? (Richard may say otherwise).
In lieu of Elder Hale's talk today, I thought about what I want to be remembered by: I didn't live my life because I wanted to be a nice person. Or just served and tried make others feel happy and/or important. I lived my life this way because I know God lives.
Now, I just need to perfect this in my own family relations. Maybe I'm just super nice to customers (even if they aren't towards me), because if I'm not-I might get fired. Maybe I try to serve others because it instills a greater happiness and fulfillment in myself. Service has a way of doing that. But what about with my own husband? Is it because I'm around him everyday and have high expectations of him that I can lose my "professional" guard and not be as kind? I'm definitely not worried about being fired by him.
So is it real? How can I become who I want to become 100% of the time not just when there are consequences to my attitude? Does that make sense? Probably not. Like I said, I'm just typing it as it comes. (A glimpse into how my journal looks).
PPS--Richard and I are taking part in this program called Loving Couples, Loving Children. It's a program by Dr. Gottman from the University of Washington who has basically devoted years of study to marriage relations and how healthy marriage relations foster stabler relationships for children as well. Most of us already knew this--but this guy studies it. So, for the next 12 weeks, we are joining with 11 other couples in group discussions and exercises to help fortify our marriage and provide feedback. I am way excited. Our first group was pretty awesome. And, they also have additional classes they offer outside of the group discussion with incentives (raffles, gift cards, etc...) Anyway, this was not meant to be a plug for the program, BUT, if you live in the Seattle area--check out their website. It just has a little bit of info. They are enrolling people for the next three months only. And even if you just go in for the initial visit to see if you would make it in to the 12 week program-they'll give you a $60 gift card.