That darn monkey

Do you ever hear of some really stupid lawsuits and wonder, "How do people get away with this?" Most memorable to me was the case where a customer was suing a dry cleaner $54 million over a pair of missing pants. I worked at a dry cleaners at the time, and every customer brought it up. At the time, I also worked with a girl who was notorious for misplacing clothing, or giving them to the wrong customer. You can imagine the only thoughts that went through my head those days.

Yesterday, this month's edition of Reader's Digest came in the mail. I love it when they do issues about "dumbest criminals, lawsuits, etc" and this issue was one of them! Here was a lawsuit that just made my jaw drop:

On her way home from having dinner and drinks, Melanie Shaker of Chicago got angry with her husband and tried to kick him. Instead, she crashed through the window of a beauty salon, suffering several deep cuts. So naturally she sued the salon. Part of her argument: The store's plate glass window, which fronts a sidewalk "frequently traveled by intoxicated pedestrians," should have been stronger."

I don't know what the end result was, but nevertheless, these cases got me thinking about our sue-happy society.

Last night Michael went to bed fairly early around 7pm. He had had a fun day at the park with several friends and was "really tired." But then at 11pm he was up by my side proclaiming he was scared because there were monsters in his room. And he had a difficult time falling back to sleep during the rest of the night.

As of just a few weeks ago, Michael had never heard of the idea of monsters in the dark. Not until he watched a Curious George video online where George was scared to sleep because of monsters! I'm sure the video was created to help calm the fears of children who already had those ideas in their head. But, at the same time they were introducing that very idea to children who wouldn't have conceived it on their own.

I announced to Richard last night, after about my 17th time being awaken, that I am going to sue that darn monkey! Because of him, not only did I lose a precious 8 hours of sleep on the night of May 10, but he is also responsible for introducing the idea of monsters in the dark to my son causing him to experience fear, anxiety, and loss of sleep as well. After my quick determinations, this is all worth $1,450,430,687!

Now who wants to represent me? Or will I have to be my own lawyer like the guy who sued over his missing pair of pants?