I am my own worst enemy.

There is no one who knows how to push my buttons better than myself. In an argument, I know exactly what will eat at me the most. I know when my guard is down, and when I can strike. If you think you're a bad person, hang out with me for a while and you'll feel much better.

To be honest, I have found it so easy to mix myself up in guilt-complexes as a mother/wife. It's like I'm not only married to a husband, but to a nag-filled wife as well who tells me I should constantly be better at what I am doing.

How do you deal with the enemy within? Can you just shut her out? Or do you push her buttons back with kindness until she learns to be kind herself?

Basically, I would love to hear I'm not alone in this.


Mallory said...

You aren't alone. I am always thinking "I wish I could be more like that mom" or "I wish I could be more on top of things." I think that going from working to being a sahm is a really hard transition too. Anyway I think you are awesome, and clever, and beautiful.

hosander said...

I am the same. I wasn't always like this but as a mother I constantly feel like everyone is judging how I am raising my kids, so I preemptively juge myself. It's a vicious cycle.

Katie said...

I think you need to be patient with yourself, and give yourself at least as much latitude as you would to your friends. As I look back, I was definitely hardest on myself in my 20's, so I think it's natural, but it's not a bit helpful! Be willing to recongnize all of your wonderful qualities, and take your concerns to the Lord in prayer. I have tried many "techniques" to improve myself and my mothering skills, but the only really success I had was in letting the Lord lead me through the challenges I faced. The spirit truly is the best teacher!

Katie said...

Actually, that last comment was from Lisa! I am at Katie's house on her laptop! Ha Ha!

Aunt Soup said...

I have had similar thoughts. It is sometimes hard to find an equilibrium. I have found solace and grace from reading thoughts from Wallace Goddard. I will give you a link to one of his blogs:http://www.drwally.org/moving-from-selfhood/trusting-in-the-arm-of-flesh/

Nicole said...

I completely agree. When Mark gets upset that I am nagging him too much I try to explain to him how he only gets half of it...I give myself way more grief than I give him! Good luck with it all. I've found a lot of great ideas from LDS family services. On their website they have a "helpful information" page with a lot of stuff to read on how to make ourselves and families better.