Drunk Driver

Well, as many of you may not know, I got a job. I have been working at a nearby grocery store for about 1 month now. I'm there part time, they work around Richard's school schedule for me, and I don't have to work Sundays which is fabulous! It's also been really, really nice to get out of my apt and socialize with other people. I really wasn't getting out at all beforehand, and felt very unproductive. The store is close enough to my apartment, that I can walk there in 10 minutes easily. Gas-saver! Wahoo! 

Well, despite all the good things about this job, there are some unfortunate side effects as well. Yesterday, I was checking in checkstand 3. Right behind me, in checkstand 2, a customer was buying a large case of bottled beer. As he was lifting the case, to put it back into his cart, he dropped it sending glass flying, and beer splashing all over......me. I smelt retched. Absolutely disgusting! I went to the break room, grabbed lots of paper towels to dry me off somewhat, and then I clocked out and headed out the door. 

Not only am I rather distracted both by my wet pants, the nasty smell, and the event itself, but I just wanted to get home as fast as I could. And obviously, fast was too fast for the cop around the corner less than 1/2 a mile from home.  

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" I yelled, as I started pulling over, "How am I supposed to get out of this one?!" 

"License and registration please." the stalky, police officer first asked, but he evidently smelt the beer very quickly because the "Have you been drinking tonight?" question popped out very quickly. 

"No. No sir, I haven't. I promise. I can explain." He asked me to step out of the car. I did.
He listened, as I proceeded to explain the situation to him, shaking and stuttering. "I'll take a breathalyzer test too, if you want me!" I showed him my apron, my name tag, the store's phone number in my cell, anything to prove my innocence! 

I'm sure he believed me. Would you? 

Cause, you shouldn't. I pretty much made that whole story up---except for the part about the guy spilling beer all over me, getting soaked, and smelling nasty. Yeah, it was pretty gross. 

The end.  


Brittney said...

LOL I love you Diana!

Of course you love gymnastics and diving! We are awesome.

Nancy Heiss said...

Silly, silly Diana :) You're so tricky!

The smell of beer is quite revolting, though. I'm sorry it spilled on you!

Dorothy said...

Diana that was mean. However, I was wondering why you were driving when you had just extolled the virtues of walking because it is only ten minutes away. But more, I was feeling such a kinship because I got pulled over on Thursday, and Dad got pulled over on Wednesday. We thought we had a new family tradition going.

The Wendler Family said...

Oh my gosh! Diana, that is KILLER!!! I can't believe it! What are the chances?! I spilt a glas of wine (thankfully white, but the smell of alcohol is revolting!!) all over myself at Tim's cousin's wedding reception saying goodbye to people. A group of people by his cousin that didn't know us, all said, comments like, "No more for you!" or "I think you've had enough tonight." Little did they notice that I was pregnant, because THEY had had enough to drink. I rubbed my tummy and said, yeah, pregnant and clumsy, not drunk. Then they wouldn't take their hands off me! What do you do... nothing good comes from alcoholic beverages spilt of sober people.
Did you get a ticket?

Diana said...

Haha--Melanie! Obviously you did believe it. Lol.

MidSpeck said...

This made me laugh -- out loud.

Shaillé said...

Haha, you're too funny. :) Although I was thinking wait a second, she just said she walks to work everyday...